Goodbye On Eharmony
I just received the following email from OkCupid:
You are Hot!
Hey [username],
We just detected that you’re now among the most attractive people on OkCupid.
We learned this from clicks to your profile and reactions to you in Quickmatch and Quiver [features of the site]. Did you get a new haircut or something?
Well, it’s working!
To celebrate, we’ve adjusted your OkCupid experience:
You’ll see more attractive people in your match results.
This won’t affect your match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match’s answers. But we’ll recommend more attractive people to you. You’ll also appear more often to other attractive people.
Sign in to see your newly-shuffled matches. Have fun, and don’t let this go to your head.
A few things are running through my head…
What Does Goodbye Mean On Eharmony
Jul 24, 2018 eharmony is the go-to for marriage-minded people looking for a serious, long-term commitment.We're dating to put a ring on it, people. Not just dating for attention or as a reason to not be alone. Luckily, eHarmony makes it possible for you to go on dates without even leaving your home. Say goodbye to all of your first date woes — Who pays? Dinner or movie? Are end-of-date kisses acceptable? — while still taking your relationship to the next level with the site’s new Video Date feature. As a thank you for reading my story here are some special coupons for eharmony. 6 month Subscription Coupon (30% Off a 6-Month Membership at eHarmony.com with code EHLOVE. Valid through ) 12 month Subscription Coupon (15% Off 12-Month Membership at eharmony.com with code HARMONY12. Mar 10, 2015 For those that have used eharmony you can decline/block someone you are not interested in and their profile appears grayed out to you and you can no eharmony: blocking after first date (dating, Christian, woman, call) - Relationships -Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction.
(1) OkCupid is just trying to flatter me. They send this email out to everyone. But no, they don’t.
(2) OkCupid has created an elite class in the online datingworld. And that’s unfair! Even though I “made the cut,” this still upsets me. OkCupid is secretly (because they don’t publicize this on their site) an uneven playing field. This policy is limiting just like eHarmony‘s exclusion criteria which I discussed in my first post.
(3) Stop assuming things about me, OkCupid! I may have been calculated to be conventionally attractive, but what if I don’t like other conventionally attractive people? What if I want someone uglier than me so I look pretty? What if love really is blind for me?
I understand the reasoning behind matching people based on answers to multiple choice questions, but creating matches based on collective opinions of attractiveness is like matching people based on strangers’ opinions of whether they look like a couple. It puts weight on other people’s opinions while ignoring the opinions of the potentially matched.
(4) Where’s my recognition for having an interesting and well-written profile? Way to objectify me, OkCupid.
I found a 2010 article from Bitch Media about OkCupid’s attractiveness policy that is worth reading. It expresses some of my same sentiments. Here’s an excerpt:
“…this policy is a bunch of discriminatory, attractiveness-norm-reinforcing, bullshit. Not to mention the fact that it just doesn’t make sense. Why limit the number of potential matches people can get? Because pretty people can’t have their pretty eyes scarred by regular people?”
Yes, believe it or not, I am this worked up about being called hot. I’ll continue using OkCupid, though. If this is what the world of online dating has to offer, onward I go as I continue my experiment in search of The One.
First Date #4
Time for an update: The Neurologist asked me out for drinks and I accepted his invitation. However, noticing (as indicated on my profile) that I don’t drink, he wrote back to me and asked if I’d like to join him at a museum instead. Huge points for that move. (And for the record, you can still go out for drinks even if you don’t drink. But I greatly appreciate his consideration.) First Date #4 will happen Thursday evening.
-M
Saying Goodbye To Bad Relationships: When To Make A Change And How To Move Forward
Goodbye On Eharmony
By :
Kristine BurkeDate : Tuesday, July 25, 2017Why Do People Say Goodbye On Eharmony
Unhealthy relationships take a toll physically and mentally
The University of Minnesota's Health Talk details that healthy relationships can reduce stress and improve our health. However, unhealthy relationships can lead to higher blood pressure, spur depression and emotional issues, and even create a weakened immune system. Every relationship has its ups and downs, so at times, it can be difficult to determine when it is time to end a partnership. Even a bad partnership can feel comfortable sometimes, so it takes some self-reflection and sacrifice to make a change.
The University of Washington Hall Health Center shares some of the key components that signal that a relationship may have become unhealthy. If you feel pressured to change for your partner, or feel as if you need to stop doing activities you used to enjoy or stop seeing family or friends, there may be a problem. It is not uncommon for addictions to come into play with unhealthy relationships, whether it be in the form of alcohol or drug use clouding decision-
making, or an addiction developing in relation to the other person or the need to be together. If your partner is manipulative and controlling, things tend to get explosive or violent, or there is a lack of equality, you may need to take stock and prepare for a change.
Reasons for staying in bad relationships vary, and sacrifices may be necessary
People stay in bad relationships for many reasons, despite the toll these partnerships can take on one's health. eHarmony details that some may stick around because there are children involved, or finances may make it difficult to separate. Low self-esteem often develops in volatile relationships, so you may be left feeling as if your current partner is the best you can do. Another common obstacle is that some people become afraid of being alone, or they may think that a bad relationship where you know what to expect is better than the unknown.
When you realize that your relationship is negatively impacting your overall health, it is time to make a plan, consider what sacrifices need to be made, and scrounge together some self-discipline to make a change and stick with it. Madame Noire suggests that you make sure that you come to terms with the issues in the relationship and make a clear choice to end it. Once you have realized that you need to break things off, make a plan and move forward.
Focus on rebuilding your healthy self after a split
Once you are single again, focus on your physical and mental health and put together a plan to ensure that you regain your strength. Tackle activities that you may have been neglecting, whether that means trying a new fitness activity, experimenting with new, healthy recipes, reading some books, or reconnecting with friends. Breakups can be emotionally draining, even if you know they are necessary. This is the time to focus on your own strengths and positive attributes and embrace the healthier life you are ready to lead.
Unhealthy romantic relationships have a significant impact on one's mental and physical health. Even when it’s clear that it is time to make a change, moving ahead can be difficult and require both sacrifices and a fair amount of self-discipline. Once the split is behind you, focus on ways you can build up both your mental and physical health. Life may feel difficult in the short-term, but ending an unhealthy relationship will bring many long-term benefits.
[Image via Pixabay]